Coolest End-World Scenario Possible
For those of you that don’t follow pirate news as closely as I do, you may not know that last Thursday three ships full of pirates (buckling their swashes, one would assume) hijacked a Ukrainian ship carrying 33 T-72 Soviet tanks and small arms off the coast of Somalia. I will wait while the full impact of that sinks in for you.
Pirates.
With tanks.
Soviet tanks.
Clearly, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world because somewhere out there is a real-life pirate sitting in a real-life tank.
Artist’s rendering of what pure awesome looks like.
If I understand the Law of Conservation of Coolness Momentum, on the directly opposite side of the Earth a ninja is playing a laser guitar while riding a T-rex. When they finally and inexorably meet in battle, we can take solace in the fact that at least the world will be destroyed in the coolest fashion imaginable.
Well, that’s it. I can die now. That was the last thing on my list. Farewell crewell woooorld!
HUZZAH!
cool
The world had better come to an end as you didn’t call me last month. . . . at least your world will be ending soon!
I’m surprised there aren’t more comments on this…
The comments are sparse because most people are afraid of taking a side in the Pirate/Ninja conflict. They’re afraid that if they appear to be on one side or the other and that side loses the inevitable apocalyptic battle that they will suffer the consequences. Well, good people of the internet, I want you to know that HatShrapnel isn’t afraid to make an unambiguous decision on the issues. The Shrap stand tall and proud on this stance: Pie is yummy.
What we all need to realize, here, is that there isn’t really a conflict at all… Er, between the ninjas and the pirates.Ahhhh…Mark for President!
What we all need to realize is that the ninja and pirate aren’t on complete opposite sides. There’s a third factor that they both fear.
WOOT! Go Pirates!
Aren’t we forgetting about the bazooka toting tinkerbell fairies and the jet fighter unicorns here?
I voted for Mark and only had to fight off one elderly booth worker to do it.
Boooooo!!!! Mark you just plain suck! I don’t think I’m the only one here who thinks so. I want an update!!!
Yeah, we second Nobody Important. We unanimously want an update! And… not just one, lots - more often too!
It has been a while since I’ve been in school. Is the Law of Conservation of Coolness Momentum the one where they explode into pure rockin’ energy when they collide, or is where they merely bounce off each other at an angle that is determined by velocity, center of gravity, and surface friction…’cause one is way cooler than the other. Plus I seem to remember watching a movie (back in my first year of college physics, when I was working on some stupid problem) where the same thing happened and they combined to form a giant lightning robot that defeated Godzilla and then learned their lesson about fighting and dabbling in Communism.
I think this one needs some more attention now that the Indian Navy has gone and destroyed the pirate’s Mothership, but found out later that it was a Cambodian trading ship instead. This whole thing just frickin’ blows my mind…the Indian Navy, gosh, who would’ve thought. And aliens too. Wow!
Stop referencing plots from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
Upon seeing this story on CNN, my first thought was how cool it would have been if deadly assassin ninjas snuck aboard and engaged in a fight with the pirates. But the head ninja has a little trick up his sleeve. He secretly controlls Godzilla who comes up from the sea and battles with the Ninjas against the Tank yielding Pirates!!
But a Ninja riding a T-Rex while playing a laser guitar is pretty cool too.