Home Improvement

January 16, 2009

 

As I walked into my sister’s living room today she was watching a documentary about a woman that poisoned her husband, burned the corpse, and very nearly got away with the whole thing.  My sister looked at me and, with a deadpan expression that would make Bud Abbot jealous, said, “I love these home improvement shows.”  My sister is way more suited to comedy than I.

So, a new year is upon us.  Well, actually it’s been upon the rest of you for two weeks now, but I’m serious about my procrastination, so I didn’t start the new year until 7:36pm this evening.  For the three of you Shrap fans left, here’s my New Year’s resolution: I will update EVERY SINGLE WEEK.  You read that right, folks (or possibly, folk), every single week I intend to post humorous observations about the Kronecker Delta Function or crappy crayon drawings of the disturbing inner workings of a juvenile, psychopathic mind or whatever crazy hogwash is floating around in my head.  I’ll shoot for Thursdays since “Thursday” is “Hat Shrapnel” spelled backwards, but I’ll see how that goes. Hold me to this one, Shrapnelonians.  If I miss a week, I expect bricks thrown through my window and dead animals in my mailbox - anything to show you care.  See you in a week, Shrapnelites!

And if my brother-in-law is reading this: Dude, RUN!

10 Responses to “Home Improvement”

  1. JohnK, on January 17th, 2009 at 1:55 pm Said:

    I comment on things at random.

  2. The Countenator, on January 20th, 2009 at 2:52 pm Said:

    This is an email brick through the window.

    Mark Pledges to EVERY SINGLE WEEK: January 16, 2009
    Next Posting is Due: January 23, 2009
    Today: January 20, 2009
    Days Remaining: 3
    Posts Remaining for Mark to finish the year: 49

    I predict “eluraif” spelled backward.

  3. Twonk, on January 22nd, 2009 at 7:32 pm Said:

    I bet you thought I would never comment. Well, I’m bored, so I thought I would. Haha, just kidding. You know, your sisters psychological issues and that happy “I’m going to kill you” attitude she puts off definately make it that much more believable that you two are siblings. It’s only proper for a criminal mastermind supervillian like yourself to have Amy as your sister! Dan’s either in grave danger, or really lucky, I haven’t quite decided. Oh wait, thats your sister! Sorry bro, I really do love you! (insert sad puppy eyes)

  4. Twonk, on January 22nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm Said:

    YOU’RE BACK!!!!!

    WOO HOO !!!!!

  5. Random people, on January 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm Said:

    This site rocks!! Yeah!!

  6. Woooo Girls, on January 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm Said:

    I can’t believe this site is so awesome!!!

    “Wooooooo!!”

  7. Beaker, on January 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm Said:

    “Meep meep meep MEEP meep meep MEEP MEEP meep MEEP!”

    Translation: “Bout time!”

  8. Shiny, on January 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm Said:

    shiny

  9. Doug, on January 26th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Said:

    And thus, the new age began.

    And I completely missed it. *facepalm.

  10. Noogie, on February 24th, 2009 at 10:39 pm Said:

    holy moses! updates all over!

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