Hat Shrapnel

Senior Cacahuete: A Good Man

 

by John Keefner writing from the balcony of a Mexico City highrise, overlooking the city and a fantastic sunset filtered through the thick air, with an accent like Ricardo Montalban.

Here we delve into the subtle world of aged foreign literature.  A Mexican monk sold this to me on the Calle de los Muertos of Teotihuacan beneath the shadow of an Aztec pyramid. It is authentic ancient literature copied down through the ages from the original codices of the archaic and downfallen Mayan culture.  That was six hundred bucks well spent, let me tell you… I have translated the text with the aid of nothing more than the world’s most sophisticated language algorithms.

And now I share it with the world. Behold. 

Senior Cacahuete: A Good Man

It is the morning and Senior Cacahuete Fernando is not tired.

Hello, good morning. How are you?

It is time for the great vacation to South America.

Senior Cacahuete got on his bicycle.

 

But, there are bad men at the airport.

 

There are two bombs for the airplanes.

At the airport, a person asked Senior Cacahuete for money.

Thank you Mr. Warning! There are bad men, and Victor, in the bathroom. 

Senior Cacahuete bought a ticket.

Senior Cacahuete. You are here. I have a gun.

However! I am the police. Where are the bombs?

 

In the bathroom Mister.

Thank you Senior Cacahuete. You are a good man.

And the whole world was good and Senior Cacahuete had a good flight.

Ok, if you made it this far, you deserve an explanation. When I found this in an old box of high school stuff, I uttered a great big “What the bleep! This is fantastic!” That was a few months ago. Since then I have yet to figure out what I was thinking. Needless to say, I am more than willing to swear on your holy text of choice that I did not partake of any kind of mind altering substances in high school.

Mark, this is what you can expect every time you are three days late to posting. Be warned.